Challenging Boys

J. Timothy Davis, PhD

doi:10.5771/9781538191132

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Copyright year: 2025
ISBN-Print: 978-1-5381-9112-5
ISBN-Online: 978-1-5381-9113-2
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield, Lanham
Language: English
Pages: 226
Product type: Book Titles

1. Contents No access
2. Author’s Note No access
3. Foreword No access
4. Introduction No access
1. Let Go of Blame So You Can Focus on Solving the Problem No access
2. 1. Signs That You Might Be Triggered No access
3. Parenting Journal No access
4. 1. Blame No access
  2. Trauma, Triggers, and Buttons No access
5. Parenting Journal Exercise No access
1. Temperament No access
2. 1. Inhibitory Control (or Inhibition) No access
  2. Working Memory No access
  3. Cognitive Flexibility No access
3. A Child with a Problem Becomes a Problem Child No access
4. Ethan No access
5. Key Ideas No access
6. 1. Negative Emotion No access
  2. Inhibitory Control No access
  3. Working Memory No access
  4. Cognitive Flexibility No access
1. Make Your Emergency Plan No access
2. Key Ideas No access
3. Parenting Journal Exercise No access
1. 1. Make Time No access
  2. Play No access
  3. Show Interest in Your Son’s Interests No access
  4. 1. Pay Attention No access
    2. Give Affection No access
    3. Express Appreciation No access
2. 1. Distinguish Feelings from Behaviors No access
  2. Focus on the Emotional Heart of the Matter No access
  3. Don’t Ask Questions, Guess No access
  4. Validate, Validate, and Validate Some More No access
3. Always Be on Your Child’s Side No access
4. Apologize and Make Amends No access
5. Key Ideas No access
6. Parenting Journal Exercise No access
1. 1. How to Make Opening Up Feel Good No access
  2. How to Get Our Sons to Talk No access
2. 1. 1. Step 1: Gentle Start-up No access
    2. Step 2: Understanding His Perspective No access
    3. Step 3: Brainstorming No access
    4. Step 4: Agree to a Plan No access
    5. Step 5: Evaluate the Plan and Make a New One No access
3. Key Ideas No access
4. Parenting Journal Exercises No access
1. 1. Tuning In No access
  2. Tuning In to Yourself No access
  3. Managing the Environment No access
  4. Managing His Body No access
  5. Soothing No access
  6. What to Do When Nothing Works No access
  7. Modeling No access
  8. Coaching No access
2. Challenging Behavior Academy No access
3. Key Ideas No access
4. Parenting Journal Exercises No access
1. 1. 1. Rules and punishments should be clear, decided on in advance, and communicated to the child before the program is started. No access
  2. 2. Pair the punishment program with a reward program. No access
  3. 3. Punishments should be respectful to the child. No access
  4. 4. Punishments should be “mild and brief.” No access
  5. 5. Punishments should be immediate and consistent. No access
  6. 6. Make sure you can enforce the punishment. No access
  7. 7. Don’t use punishments that punish you or others. No access
  8. 8. Don’t take away things that you want your child to be doing. No access
  9. 9. If you do not see immediate positive effects of your punishment program, modify it or abandon it. No access
  10. 1. Example 1: Time-out for Hitting No access
    2. Example 2: Getting off Screens When Time Is Up No access
  11. Natural and Logical Consequences No access
  12. Justice No access
2. 1. 1. Rule Number 1 is always: “Nobody gets hurt. Nothing gets broken on purpose.” No access
  2. 2. “Everyone has a right to a life.” No access
  3. 3. Rules should be simple, clear, and concrete. No access
  4. 4. Give children a say in what the rules are and in what the consequences are for rule infractions. No access
  5. 5. The rules apply to everyone in the family. No access
  6. 6. Post written rules. No access
3. Key Ideas No access
1. 1. 1. Identify the behaviors to reward. No access
  2. 2. Determine your rewards. No access
  3. 3. Involve your child in the creation of the incentive plan. No access
  4. 4. Don’t take away points. No access
  5. 5. Make it manageable. No access
  6. 6. Document the terms of the rewards program and the points progress where everyone can see it. No access
  7. 7. Practice. No access
  8. 8. Evaluate and revise. No access
  9. Example 1: Getting ready for school on time No access
  10. Example 2: Swearing No access
  11. Fading No access
  12. Preadolescents and Adolescents No access
2. Final Thoughts No access
3. Key Ideas No access
4. Parenting Journal Exercises No access
1. 1. 1. Trust and connection in the parent-child relationship No access
  2. 2. A regulated parent and a regulated child No access
  3. 3. Shared goals No access
  4. 4. Openness to influence No access
2. 1. 1. Great coaches understand that emotional connection is the foundation of coaching. No access
  2. 2. Great coaches are gentle. No access
  3. 3. Great coaches get buy-in first. No access
  4. 4. Great coaches are great listeners. No access
  5. 5. Great coaches empower players. No access
  6. 6. Great coaches make things fun. No access
  7. 7. Great coaches are prepared. No access
3. 1. Process Focus No access
  2. Self-Regulation No access
  3. Self-Talk No access
  4. Reframe No access
  5. Practice and Visualization No access
4. 1. Phone Use No access
  2. Getting Ready for School No access
  3. Emotion Coaching and Reframing during a Meltdown No access
  4. Exercise and Fun No access
  5. Supporting Your Son in Pursuing His Goals No access
5. Coaches as Role Models No access
6. Key Ideas No access
7. Parenting Journal Exercises No access
Chapter 10: Bringing It All Together No access Pages 195 - 210
1. Recommended Reading No access
2. General Information Useful to Parents of Challenging Boys No access
3. Resources Related to Emotion Coaching No access
4. Resources Related to Collaborative Problem-Solving No access
5. Resources Related to the IEP Process No access
6. Resources for Finding a Therapist in Your Area No access
Bibliography No access Pages 215 - 218
Index No access Pages 219 - 224
About the Author No access Pages 225 - 226